Here I am again...

Well here I am again. Three years later and 30 lbs heavier. A lot has changed in my life I'm divorced now and have found true love. I got comfortable in my relationship, and my life, and let myself go...again. I lost my Mom last year suddenly and I'm sure that didn't help things. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I know how easy it is to gain weight and how God awfully hard it is to lose it yet I keep falling back into the same boat over and over.  It's January 2, a new year a new beginning. I'm getting married in 6 months and I have to make a change. I don't want to be a fat bride. I want to look amazing on my special day, I want to feel like a princess. More importantly I really want to be healthy.  I've found out the hard way that pills don't work, fad diets don't work. The only thing that has ever worked for me is exercise. I have an elliptical machine, I have a bow flex, and as of yesterday I have a boxing bag. I have all I need in my home to do this. I just need the motivation. I want this! More than anything I want this! I have a man who tells me I'm beautiful every day, even when I'm laying there in bed hair everywhere, no makeup on and God knows I love him for it but I just don't feel it. I want to feel it, I want to enjoy shopping and not dread it, I want it so bad! So I'm going to try again, today began for me a new beginning a new chapter. I woke up this morning at 193.4 lbs I took my kids to school, went downstairs and worked out for about 15 min which isn't a lot but its better than nothing. I plan on doing it again when I get home tonight. And tomorrow, and the day after, and so on. I will blog weekly with my progress. I know I can do this. I have to.